A Very Merry Christmas?
by iloveskeeve2251
Summary: A CrystalSnape oneshot. A depressed Crystal, a sad Snape, alone in a castle... Still Crystal Potter from my bio, just in different situations with a different pairing! PLEASE RR! Warning : Self Harm... Beware!


"You guys go on. I'll be fine."

" You sure Crystal?"

"Yes, Harry. I've been a bit behind on a few personal projects. I'm going to use this time to work on them." Crystal had been working on this lie; well, it wasn't really a _lie_, she was working on a few projects; since she had heard that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were going to the Burrow for winter break. It was seventh year and she had been really depressed since fifth year. Cedric died, then Sirius, then there was the fight last year against Voldemort. Pansy, Blaise, Michael Corner, Cho Chang, Zacharias Smith, Dennis and Colin Creevey, and Remus Lupin all died, along with a few others the light side died. But they won. And while everyone was celebrating and moving on with life, getting boyfriends and girlfriends, getting married; Crystal was getting buried into a little pit of despair. While Hermione realized _something_ was wrong, she got the Golden Trio and Ginny to help cheer her up. As Harry and Ginny were obsessed with each other, as were Ron and Hermione, a little mask was all that was needed to fool them. "Go on. I'll be OK."

"If you're sure…"

"YES! Now go, you'll miss the train."

"Yes, Mum." They laughed and gave each other a group hug. Crystal held her cloak tighter and watched as they were driven away in a thestral-pulled coach. She turned and walked back inside. She was the only one left. Her and Professors Snape, Dumbledore, Madams Pomfrey and Pince, and Mr. Filch. She walked back in and up to Gryffindor tower. Professor Dumbledore said that as she was the only student left, and with so few teachers as well, she would be moved to a room near Snape's. Not that she minded overly much. She would still have privacy, and Snape really was not that bad. In fact, she has had a crush on him since fifth year.

After lunch, Snape grudgingly led Crystal to her new quarters. Crystal nodded her thanks then walked into her rooms, shutting the door behind her. Severus looked at the door for a moment then stalked off. _That was … weird._ He thought. _She's one of the … more polite students. If she wished to thank someone, she would say so verbally. I believe my suspicion of something being wrong is correct. I'm glad I spoke to Albus about this._ He reached his rooms and poured a glass of scotch, thinking about the girl so similar to his loved one, who stole his heart as well.

* * *

That night, like all others, Crystal fell into a restless sleep, filled with nightmares. She woke up and scrambled under her pillow, relaxing marginally when her hand reached the hilt of the dagger Sirius got her for her birthday. It was silver with emeralds and rubies in the hilt. The blade had a stripe of diamond through it and was diamond-edged, sharp as it could be. The sheath also had rubies and emeralds, but it also had a strip of onyx encircling it with a few opals as well. She ran the blade over her wrist a couple of times before going into the bathroom and making several red lines crisscross her wrists. She watched, mesmerized as the crimson liquid swelled the dropped into the sink. She waited a minute. Then she ran the water and washed it up, bandaging her arms afterwards. She then went back to sleep. 

The next day, she woke up, went to breakfast, then went to the library to read up on occlumency, legilimency, and everything else she could find that would help her later on with whatever she wanted to do with her life. She stopped for lunch and dinner, then left the library with a stack of books at curfew. She read until her eyes closed, about 1:30, then fell asleep, waking up an hour and a half later from a nightmare. She cut herself then fell asleep at three-thirty. She then woke up at 5 and read till breakfast time. She repeated this process day after day until the day before Christmas Eve.

* * *

It was the night before Christmas Eve, actually, very early morning on Christmas Eve, about 3:00. Severus had finished an extensive potion and was pacing in the dungeons. His thoughts kept wandering to Crystal, he couldn't figure out what was wrong. Everything seemed all right, but he didn't see much of her. Irma Pince mentioned that she had been in the library all day, every day. That seemed a little odd, but, then again, Crystal usually had grades above Granger but had been below her lately… He was about to delve further into that thought when he heard a noise. He paused and stretched his ears. It was a whimpering, then a murmuring, then a pleading. He left at that, it was Crystal. As he got to her rooms, it turned into screaming. He burst in to see blood running down her arms.

* * *

Crystal woke up screaming from a _horrid_ nightmare. She was panicking and cut herself more than she meant to. By the time she calmed down enough to see, she saw Severus coming in to her room, eyes locked to her arms. She stood up, not fully thinking, and walked to the bathroom. Severus followed her. 

"What _are_ you doing? Are you _crazy_?" Severus asked.

"Excuse me, _Professor,_ but, if you don't mind, get out of my rooms and stay out of my business." She replied while washing her arms.

"What's wrong? The Girl Who Lived wished she didn't?" he thought taunting her might get him somewhere. He watched for silence for a moment as she bandaged her arms. "You've done this a lot."

She snorted. "You try being me. It isn't a whole lot of fun."

"Is it _really_ that bad?"

She glared at him with a ferocity that even he could not obtain. He raised his eyebrow and she glared even harder. She smirked as he flinched. She turned and started cleaning up.

"In answer to your earlier question… Living's not that bad… I just…" Snape worried his lip when she paused, seemingly close to tears or rage. "I hate that I'm known as 'the Girl Who Lived' or 'The Chosen One' or 'Harry Potter's sister'! They don't even care about my name. They all care that I lived or that I defeated Voldemort. Merlin! Why can't they care that I'm in the top 5 of all my year for my classes, or that I'm the youngest chaser in 30 years, or that I got the highest score on my defense O.W.L.s than anyone else in history?" She had this rant facing away from Severus. Silent tears fell down her cheeks, she was trembling in anger and sorrow. Severus put a tentative hand on her shoulder. Crystal turned around, and within half a second, was crying in his arms. "Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be appreciated for normal things? Why did I have to be the one to defeat Voldemort? Will people never realize everything else I have done? Why? Why do I have to be such a FREAK???" She sobbed into his shoulder, hanging on to him for dear life. Severus wrapped his arms around her and guided her to the bed.

"Hush, calm down. There is no such thing as normal in these times. You WILL be appreciated for everything. And you are NOT a freak!!!" He kept talking to her, eventually calming her down. "Are you OK?" he received a nod. "How long have you been cutting? And why?"

"Christmas break, nightmares." She hugged him tighter, he hugged back.

"I'm sorry."

"'S not your fault."

He looked her in the eyes, then kissed her. She responded in kind. They showed each other how much love they shared in that single kiss. "I'm still sorry." He said when they broke apart.

She smiled shyly. "What would you say if I said 'I love you'?"

He smiled. "I would say 'I love you too'."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"They kissed once more, before falling asleep in each other's arms. The last thought they had before they both fell asleep, was that this was going to be a good Christmas.


End file.
